I awoke this morning feeling strangely lethargic. The idea of the morning workout seemed vividly absurd. I simply couldn’t find any reason to drag my ass out of bed, get dressed, go to the gym, lift weights, and run 4 miles on a treadmill. All the while sweating like some rabid pig. I rolled and slept for another two hours. Bourbon always leave me tired the next day.
It’s 8AM when I begin to wonder what is in the fridge. I weakly consider the standard fare of egg whites and oatmeal. The uneasiness in my stomach grows worse and vomitting becomes a very real concern. I hate hurling more than I hate anything. Egg whites and oatmeal are definitely out. I mean, honestly, how much of that crap are you supposed to eat and for how long? It’s okay for awhile, so long as you don’t think of it as breakfast. So long as you don’t think of eating in terms of enjoyment, but rather function. But how long do you think such a mendacious dance can go on? I opt for Burger King and the enormous egg sandwich.
Halfway through my $4.89 worth of swill,replete with a cup of coffee that can only be described as passable and tater tots masquerading as hashbrowns, is when I remember why I don’t make a habit of eating this crap. Homogenized, processed, sodium laden crap deep undercover; passing itself off as real food. I am certain that this garbage and its ilk are responsible for cancer and diabetes. I greedily and happily snarf it down. The best $4.89 I am going to spend today.